House buying Chapter 6: The long and winding road

I have written previously about how isolating and singular housing can feel at times, especially as a single person. The sense of the collective that surrounded repeal is often lacking (with the notable exception of housing unions like CATU). This could be due to the fact that housing need is so immediate and tied to such a fundamental human right and basic need, which makes it hard to see beyond your own immediate housing needs. We also carry some heavy baggage around housing and land, echoing back through a history of landlordism, subsistence tenant farming, evictions, and in more recent times, the civil rights movement in the North and Dublin’s tenements and slums. All of this is underpinned by a long and painful past (and present) of emigration and displacement, seldom discussed in terms of its impact on our sense of place and belonging. We carry all of this in our DNA, in our national generational trauma and in our national psyche. We are dressing up our history of landlordism in a different cloak, now that of investors, vulture funds and a system that facilitates and protects landlords with no scruples or morals to exploit tenants for sex and ever rising profits.

I have always felt that we carry a deep sense of shame around housing, a heavy judgement if you fail society’s standards around home ownership and ‘getting on the property ladder’. Housing has become an arena of increasing inequality, dominated by those with access to generational capital and the highest wage earners. Home ownership is assumed for a secure retirement, and increasingly as a means by which to fund your retirement. In short, housing in Ireland has become about profit and capital, rather than about fulfilling a social need. Housing has become about the value and profit making potential of the building, rather than about being a place where lives can be lived and memories made. Communities have become places where connection and security is sacrificed to profit, where support networks and social fabric are torn apart, where people are left facing impossible choices for the sake of having a roof over their head. The ideologies and policy decisions of successive governments have created this landscape. Our broken housing system did not appear from thin air, it was created and nourished and defended and those of us caught in the middle just have to deal with it. When I contacted the Minister for Housing last year to point out the impossible situation of single buyers/one income households due to the huge gap between borrowing ability (3.5x your salary) and house prices, his response was ‘you can borrow up to 4.75x from some lenders’. So his response was for me to take on more individual debt. Seems lessons learned in 2010 are soon forgotten.

I have always felt uncomfortable speaking up about housing because I am very conscious of my relative privilege. These homeless figures provided by the Simon Community in January 2022 say it all:

“According to the latest figures by the Department of Housing, Heritage and Local Government, there were 9,150 men, women and children in homeless emergency accommodation in Ireland during the last week of January 2022.

• 1,119 were families – this is 42 (3.9%) more than the previous month (1,077 families)
• 4,788 were single adults – this is 66 (1.4%) more than the previous month (4,722 single adults)
• 2,563 were Children/Dependents – this is up 112 (4.5%) on the previous month (2,451 dependents)
• 1,111 were Young People aged 18-24 – this is up 21 (1.9 %) on the previous month (1,090) and up 351 (46%) year on year from 760 in Jan 2021.

This is an increase of 2.65% (233 people) in one month* and a 10% increase (236 people) since this time last year (8,313 people in January 2021).”

This does not include people sleeping on friends floors or couches, people living at home, people who for whatever reason cannot declare themselves to be homeless. It does not include people living in Direct Provision. The fact that in 2022, 2,563 children are homeless is a stain on our society.

I rented for over 10 years, so I understand the precarity, stress and expense of renting. I understand how hard it is to get out of renting, and how it simply is not an option for so many people. I understand how hard it is to truly feel at home in a rented property because you are constantly aware of your lack of control and agency; you’re not allowed have a pet, or to decorate or to use that one room that is used for storage space. You live in constant anticipation of a notice to sell or a rent increase. You are hesitant to fully engage in your community because you don’t know when you might have to move.

I know that on the spectrum of our dysfunctional and broken housing system, I am doing ok. The drum that I tended to beat was primarily around the dominant assumption of coupledom for home ownership, the focus on ‘young couples’ and families and the total invisibility of single people or single income households trying to buy on 3.5x one salary. On the majority of discourse around housing, the dominant frame is still a couple -‘a couple will need an income of XXXX’, ‘a couple wanting to buy a 4 bed in Dublin….’. The idea that anyone might be single beyond their 20s doesn’t seem to have made its way into any mainstream discourse, completing ignoring the fact that you don’t hit 30 and automatically get married, or that relationships and marriages can and do break up at any life stage.

The state has boxed us into a very myopic view of what housing and homes should look like; basically, a heterosexual couple with a few kids in a semi-d house. There is no space for considering that apartments and flats are also homes, that communal living (and by this I do NOT mean co-housing) is a valid and often desirable option, or that people have different cultural needs around housing; our failures towards the travelling community in that sense are particularly stark. It also continually overlooks the unique and diverse structures of families and the role of extended families.

Society is designed for two and housing is no different, so I always felt the need to point out that single people also exist and also deserve secure housing appropriate to their needs, be that in renting or ownership. Speaking publicly about something private is not easy, it can feel very vulnerable and left me feeling quite drained at different points. I was speaking about my age, my relationship status, and my finances on public platforms. Society has limited time for single women, and even less so for single women over 40 so I felt I needed to shout to be heard on multiple fronts. But I genuinely believe that the more people who are honest and open about how damn hard it is, the better. Otherwise all we see are ‘here’s how I bought my dream home at age 26’ type stories that make it seem like you just decide that you want a gaff and one appears in your lap out of thin air. We cannot shift this discourse unless people are honest and candid about what is actually involved in buying a home. This includes talking about how much support they might have needed and/or received, how long it took them to save, the gap between salaries and house prices etc. Talking about finances is personal and often uncomfortable, but I really believe it is part of what is needed to ground housing in reality and to counter the dominant narratives of €370k being an ‘affordable’ home and that anyone who says they can’t afford a home is simply looking for one of these mythical ‘free’ houses.

So here I go. This is my own situation and journey, it is not meant to be representative of anyone other than myself although I know there are many in similar situations to me. I am not looking for accolades or for sympathy or for advice. I am simply writing it down here in the hopes that it might guide someone along their own process, help someone to feel less alone and be a dose of reality in a discourse that often feels so removed from how most people live. I’ve written it with bullet points to make it slightly less rambly. This stuff is personal folks, so please be sound.

• I went back to college to do my masters in 2009 (aged 29) and was then out of work for a while during the crash. When I started work again in 2011, my salary started at €28k and went to €34k over the course of various contract based roles. My first permanent job in 2015 paid €38k. At that point, I had no savings but started saving €250 per month.

• Between 2012 and 2020 I was renting in Dublin. My rent costs were as follows: €550 (2012-2013), €600 (2013-2015 – living with someone, so I moved out once we broke up.), €725 (2015-2016, landlord put rent up so I had to move), €400 (2016-2017 -this house had rats :-)), €575 (2017 – evicted after 5 months as landlord was selling), €800 (2018 – evicted after a year as landlord was selling, even though he actually just re-rented the house out a month later :-)), €833 (2019-2020).

• I started properly thinking about buying a place in 2019. I was 38, had just been evicted for the second time in 15 months, and had been promoted in work the previous year. I had taken unpaid leave in 2018 and my related salary adjustment had just about worked itself out. My salary at that point was €54k.

• I sat down and worked out what I could afford and what I would need to save. Based on my salary, I could borrow €189k. Taking into account a 10% deposit, I was looking at buying in the region of €210k, meaning I would need to save at least €21k.

• I worked out my monthly expenses. These included rent (€833), household bills, commuting costs, health and car insurance, a car loan and general living expenses. I set myself a strict budget for socialising/personal spending and figured I could save €650 per month. I set up a direct debit for that much and figured that in addition to the few thousand I had already saved over the previous 3 years, I would be in a position to apply for a mortgage in 12-18 months. I knew there was no point in thinking too much about it until I had made decent progress towards saving my deposit, so I just put my head down and got on with it. Even if I never ate avocado toast ever again, it was going to take me a while to save €21k.

• During this time, an extraordinary number of people asked would I not ‘just get the money from your parents’. This was not an option for me. I got no financial support from my family because they didn’t have it to give. There was no extra property that could be sold to finance my (or my siblings) house buying. I know my parents felt guilty about this and that really bothered me. Every family is different and if there had been financial support available I absolutely would have taken it with both hands. But the assumption that parents can give each of their children anywhere from 20-50k is one of the main problems that I see with the current system. Our own former Taoiseach suggested the ‘bank of mum and dad’ when questioned as to how people are supposed to save a deposit while paying huge rent.

• And then in 2020, everything went upside down. I was saving a little bit extra every month, and my salary increased slightly to €58k, meaning that the top of my budget was now €225k. I watched prices rise and rise, leaving fewer and fewer properties in that bracket. I couldn’t move any faster as I couldn’t save any faster. Even though I was saving what extra I could, a few hundred extra saved here and there doesn’t have much impact when prices are rising by tens of thousands. Skipping brunch, not buying coffee, only eating beans of toast – none of it makes any difference when the summit you are climbing towards keeps getting further and further away. It’s like trying to use twigs to build a bridge across a canyon.

• In January 2021, I moved home with my parents. By this point I had saved about €20,000 on my own. Being in a position to do this meant I could save my rent equivalent (€833) on top of the €650 so I was saving €1500 per month which meant I could finish saving my deposit plus the additional legal fees, stamp duty and funds to furnish the house etc. I set myself a target of being out of my parents house by June 2021. It is April 2022 now and I am still here. It is not easy to live with your parents as an adult, on many levels. But still, I am lucky that I had the option to do so. I did my research and set my red lines for what I was looking for; outdoor space, 2 bedrooms, within ~30 mins of city centre on public transport, not more than a ~45 min commute from work (in Co Kildare). These were all so I could maintain my social networks and connections, look after my own well being and have at least one dog :-).

• I got approval in principle at the end of January 2021 with a max budget of €225k: €22,500 deposit plus €203,000 (x3.5 times my income) mortgage. I started going to viewings (or at least trying to) and quickly realised that this budget would not get my anywhere. Any houses or apartments listed in that range were selling for 240/250k, or else were in need of €80k of renovation work (or both in some cases). My broker advised me that while exemptions are given, and while I was a good candidate for one, they were few and far between at that time as they are issued on a first come, first served basis in a calendar year. She advised that I apply to another lender who will loan you 4x your salary up front. So I did that, moving my budget up to €258k (€25,800 deposit plus €232k mortgage). I very much did not want to borrow that much and take on the additional debt but my options were limited. I had decided I wanted to live in and around Dublin as this is where my job, family and friends are, and had already realised that I was priced out of the areas I had pegged as my preferred locations in 2019. And for the record, I am priced out of my home town by at least €150k. So I was being as flexible as I could while sticking to my bottom lines. I kept an open mind on apartments but knew that a garden was important for my wellbeing. I was only looking at second hand houses as new builds were wildly out of budget for me as most new builds are family homes, or else deluxe apartments. I was €8k outside of the parameters for Rebuilding Ireland and HTB was no use to me as it only applied to new builds.

• I thought alot during this process about how the odds are so stacked against single buyers. Alot of the time, you are looking at the same houses as couples (I was generally the only single person at viewings) but there is one of you rather than two saving the deposit. You are more limited in your budget because it is 3.5X one salary instead of 3.5X a combined salary. It felt unfair and frustrating at times, but it is what it is so I tried to focus on explaining this to people who could not understand why I wasn’t sorted more quickly. There is not a bottomless pot of money. My budget did not increase just because prices increased.

• I was being outbid pretty consistently, often by €20k+. Sometimes I would arrive at a viewing for a house listed at €240k that already had a bid of €280k on it. It was so disheartening, I felt like I just could not compete. These were mostly 2 beds in Ballyfermot (occasionally in Crumlin or Finglas). I got close to being lead bidder on one house, going €5k over budget (a friend agreed to lend me that amount if it would get me the house), and writing a letter to the sellers telling them how great I am. They went with the other buyers. I pulled out of another bidding process because I was pushing myself over budget for a house I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted (it backed onto a railway line). Agents would consistently say to me ‘if you could just go a bit higher’ – like, with what? There is no bag of cash I could dip into, and I was already stretched to the max. And the fact was, there seemed to always be someone who could go higher than me.

• I went to view ‘my’ gaff in July 2021. It was listed at €235k. A two bed house built in the 1940s, nice back garden, needing some upgrading and TLC, bathroom off the back of the kitchen, very low BER rating. I didn’t fall madly in love with it, but it ticked alot of boxes. I wasn’t mad keen on how busy the road was, but at that stage I knew there would always be something not ideal, and the house certainly had good bones. I put in a bid at asking price with the usual sinking feeling, preparing myself for the inevitable disappointment to come. I kept bidding over the coming weeks. I’ll admit that I was starting to feel desperate that I would never find anything. I had been in the process for 7 months at that stage and felt like I was going backwards. So I dug in. The price was going up in small amounts, so I figured the other bidders also didn’t have a huge budget. I put in my last bid at €259 (€24K over asking) fully expecting it to go up to €260k which would put me out of the bidding. But the agent rang me and said the other party had withdrawn and they would present my offer to the sellers, who accepted the next day. I held my breath waiting for a ‘if you could just go another 10k higher’ or to be gazzumped by a cash buyer, but it didn’t happen.

• I paid my booking deposit in August 2021. After about 6 weeks of radio silence, it became apparent that the probate process had not been started for the house. So it has been incredibly drawn out and painful and nearly 9 months later I still do not have keys. I had to reapply for loan approval and as my valuation expired after 4 months I had to pay for that twice. Prices on the same road have increased by approx €30k so people keep telling me how ‘lucky’ I am. I know someone who bought a 3 bed around the corner for €240k a few years ago. I know that houses on the same road were about €180k in 2011. So lucky is really all relative.

• My monthly repayments will be €1,080. I have a 25 year mortgage. I am solely responsible for that, my salary is the only thing that will cover it. There is no alternative source of financing. That debt is on my shoulders alone. I am also responsible for every bill, every appliance, every bit of maintenance and decorating and renovation. It is alot to take on on your own, and at times it feels overwhelming. But it will be my home, so I have to believe it will all be worth it, and know that I have strong shoulders.

• I feel like life has been weirdly on hold for the last year. I am nearly 42, I want to be in my own space and to get on with my life on my own terms away from my childhood home (this is not an unreasonable thing to want). I feel very fortunate that I am nearly there, that I will get those keys, that I will be able to decorate and plant and have that dog I’ve always wanted. I am acutely aware that is something that feels increasingly out of reach for so many people. I have only myself to think about, I can’t imagine how this must feel while wanting to provide stability for a child. This process has been a struggle for me on a decent wage, just imagine how impossible it is for a community worker on €35k or a hospitality worker on minimum wage, or a single parent also paying for childcare?

• It took me about 5 years to save my deposit plus extras, including 2 years of ‘hardcore’ savings. I got AIP in January 2021 and am still not in ‘my’ house. I have a well paid, permanent job. I get paid more than many teachers, nurses, healthcare workers, and community workers. There is something very messed up about the fact that we keep building homes priced for people who make over €80k when they make up a tiny % of working people. It shows how the dominant ideology discounts the importance of community and seeks to make invisible all of the people who make a community tick. A thriving community is made up of artists, creators, academics, hospitality workers, students, community workers, cleaners, delivery drivers, tech workers, healthcare workers, teachers, families, single people, couples, young folk and older folk and everyone in between. Our housing system is smothering creativity, severing connection and impacting on wellbeing and health in ways that we will live with for generations to come.

So that has been my journey to date. There are more chapters to come no doubt, the next one being when I finally get those keys in my hand. It is not easy or comfortable to write about things that are so personal, I am already bracing myself for judgement and ‘but why didn’t you/why don’t you/stop whinging’. But this is my truth and my journey and the more we can document and amplify the reality of housing in Ireland, the more we take back some ownership of the narrative. By being brave with our own voices we can break down the barriers that seek to shut us into shame and silence and see that it is not about the individual, but the collective drive for a society where everyone has a safe, decent home, suited to their own needs and wants, where communities can thrive and where no one is left behind.